The Holy Spirit, Julie Pennington Russel, and Baptist History and Beliefs

As I look back over my past year, I can't help but to look at the incredible power of the Holy Spirit in my life. During my first semester of school at Carson-Newman, I met an incredible woman of God, Julie Pennington Russell who came to speak to us during a chapel service about hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit where I had happened to be asked a few days prior by my professor if I would consider being a volunteer to help her out during the service. I quickly responded to the email, not realizing that this woman was so well known all over the United States and that her speaking would be just what my heart needed.

Flash backward about 6 monthes where my Pastor at my home church and I had been talking about ministry and somehow we began talking about me becoming a pastor. At that point in time, The Lord had not opened my eyes to that calling so when we began talking about it, I thought it would be something that would just go away, not something that would continuously nudge me for the remainder of the school year and into these past few weeks where I would finally begin to accept this calling for what it is. I can honestly say that a year ago today I was not in a place where I could fully surrender to the Lord because I had a lot of baggage that I had to get rid of first.

Okay, flash forward to the spring semester where Dr. Julie Pennington Russell came back to Carson-Newman to deliver a series of sermons known as the Ashe-Henderson Lectures. Her preaching melted my heart once more leaving me hungry for more from The Lord. At that point I began to realize and sort of accept the gifts that The Lord had given me.

Flash Forward once more to Sunday before last where the guest pastor, Rev. Mark Beck delivered the sermon with a message of answering a call and having your ears, eyes, and heart open for that transformation. Well, that may not have been what the sermon was about, but that is surely what I got out of the sermon. As I sat on the 2nd row of the sanctuary, the though of becoming a pastor was so clear and so vivid. throughout the whole service The Lord revealed so much to me. He spoke so much truth into my life and it was incredible!

Flash forward one more week to this past Friday, and as I'm sitting in class, my professor who is also my pastor, Dr. Derik Hamby, begins to talk about ministry and conflicts in the church. We then get on the topic of women pastors and Dr. Julie Pennington Russells name is mentioned, and how at times she was persecuted simply for being a woman in ministry. She had protestors on her first Sunday of being a pastor in Texas who called her a Jezebel and Harlet in front of her young daughter who then turned to her mommy and asked, "Mommy, what is a Jezebel?" My heart once again was just burning with a passion to serve The Lord. Burning with a passion to spread the gospel even when it is difficult.

So to sum all of that up and how all of those pieces fit together would be impossible It's one thing to understand what I'm trying to get across, but it's something completely different I feel to understand the thought process inside of my mind. I want more than anything to serve The Lord and to be used by Him. I want more than anything to glorify God in every one of my actions even when it's hard and people aren't supportive.

At this point of my life, I truly feel as though The Lord is calling me to become a pastor. If that isn't the case though, my prayer is that The Lord will open up new doors and new avenues in order that I may follow His will for my life.

Powerful Message

Today, God blessed my heart more than any of you will ever know. As I walked through the glass doors of my church this morning, I was greeted as usual by beautiful people like always, and as I continued down the hall way and up the stairs, God really laid on my heart to be aware and to keep my ears open as the day progressed. I didn't have a clue what that meant other than I better keep my eyes, ears, and heart open at all times. I guess before I continue I should give you some background information for my morning... A few weeks ago, my pastor asked me if I would consider teaching his class this morning and hesitantly I agreed, and as I began preparing and looking through the scripture, the character of Rahab really stuck out to me. Each of us have Rahab characteristics.. sure, we're not all prostitutes, but some of us are thieves, some of us lie, some gossip, some even may be prostitutes, some may have an addiction to food, or to money. We all in some way or another can relate to Rahab. So this morning, I literally got on my face before The Lord and cried out to Him begging for Him to open my eyes to something new, so that is just what He did. I taught Sunday School this morning, and I learned more this morning than my class I'm sure. I then went into the worship service and we sang some beautiful worship songs and hymns. We then had the sermon preached to us by the wonderful Mark Beck who blesses my heart every time he steps into the pulpit. He did a monologue sermon about the character of Nicodemus, and being born again. I've heard that term all my life but I'm not sure I really did more than hear those words on surface level. This morning though as I listened I thought back to this past year and what all The Lord has done through my life to bring a sense of healing, and peace, and love, and acceptance that I had never felt before. The Lord did this incredible thing with my heart where He literally in my mind laid my heart out on a table and I had this incredible vision of God not only mending my broken heart but of literally molding it into something new. If I get brave in the next few weeks I may attempt to actually paint what The Lord showed me this morning. It was this beautiful image of what Christ does in each of our lives. He takes away the broken pieces of out lives and creates something new out of those pieces. So in case any of ya'll are wondering how you can pray for me over the next few weeks, I would greatly appreciate your prayers to figure out my calling. As I sat in church today The Lord really reaffirmed my calling to be a pastor but it's something that I'm not 100% sure of yet and I think that is because of my fear of failure. The Lord is really working on my hear though in preparing me for ministry and I truly feel called to the Pastoral Ministry. It's a new avenue I'm traveling though as for a while everytime the idea of becoming a pastor came up, I really pushed it back down for the fear that I would actually become a pastor. So prayers for confidence and that God will place people in my life to affirm that Call would be amazing. I'm ready to embrace whatever The Lord has for me. So here I am letting go of fear, letting go of failure, letting go of pain, and embracing the idea of being a 'born again Christian' I'm excited about this journey as I know in the next several weeks The Lord is going to be revealing even more ot me! Praise The Lord for loving me just as I am!

What Can I Say... I LOVE my job! =)

So yesterday God placed an incredible bit of information in my hands. At my job, I have 17 kids enrolled in my summer program. Out of those 17 kids, only 1 of them has parents who are still together and married. 5 of my kids are not allowed to see their father, and 2 have parents who are recently split up. As we sat in chapel yesterday I wanted to teach a lesson about Father's Day but as this statistic was revealed to me, I knew that was not what I was supposed to teach. I also found out that out of my 17 kids, none of them go to church. At that moment God made it clear to me that they have to see the love of Christ through me. That I have to show them love, I have to care about what they say, I have to hold them in my arms if they want to cry, I have to be interested in their lives. It made it clear to me that this was also another purpose of my summer, to introduce these beautiful children to the stories of the bible, to the healings of Jesus. I have to teach them the stories of Noah's Ark, and Jonah and the whale. I have to teach them about David and Goliath. It's crazy how much we take for granted about the bible. The stories we think that everyone's parents of grandparents read to them as bed time stories, but that really isn't the case. If you're reading this, please pray for my kids at work that they will through this summer atleast have that seed of the Holy Spirit placed in their hearts.

New Purpose

Wow! What an incredible thing that God has placed in my heart. If you've read some of my blog posts in the past, you will know that I feel as though I'm in the middle of a waiting process and as though for a while I didn't see my purpose in being home for the summer. Last night though, The Lord made it perfectly clear to me what my purpose is for this summer! As I was sitting at my grandma's house waiting for the girls to come to my bible study The Lord really spoke to my heart that my purpose was to love those girls and to spend my time pouring into their lives! As I left work yesterday I thought about the beautiful children that God has placed in my life to love on this summer, and then he is also defining my calling more and more in order that I can better serve Him. Me of little faith, going into bible study I only expected to have 3 or 4 girls at my bible study. We ended up having 6 girls come to our bible stdy and it was an incredible evening as we began to dig deep into the hearts of some of the girls that I have always gone to church with but I have never really gotten to know. It's so cool to see how a lot of thos same girls were the girls who were in the childrens department when I left for school and over the past year they have grown up an incredible amount! I'm so excited now about the summer and to see how else God is going to work in my heart and the hearts of those around me! I have an incredible opportunity to grow in my relationship with Christ as this summer continues. I am journeying to different churches to see how people worship in different ways so I'm really excited about that opportunity! I also am blessed to be able to lead my kids at work each week in a worship experience through chapel and if you're reading this, this is a huge need as many of my kids don't have a home church that they attend! I'm am also blessed to be able to take part in a bible study each week at Abby Thompson's house where she is leading a ladies bible study which the past two weeks have ben incredible! The third thing I get to take part in is co-leading a middle and high school girls bible study with my two best friends Caroline and Beth! I'm also blessed to get to take 3 college classes and go ahead and get them out of the way this summer which is going to be wonderful! Also it's been really wonderful to be a source of encouragement for my friends who are on the mission field and working camps this summer! I just can't wait to see what else God is going to do in my life this summer and show me this summer! It's going to be wonderful! =)

O How He Loves Us

Monday morning I started working at Amelon United Methodist where I am co-running a school age summer camp this summer. The kids there are so precious and make it so worthwhile for me to wake up at 5:00 to be at work by 6:30 each morning. My little project that I have undertaken this summer is to be in charge of chapel. This week I taught my kids how so much of the time there are a ton of distractions which makes it hard to hear the voice of God. We did an activity with this and then I began talking to them about missionaries. I have a group of 1-5th graders and they didn't know what a missionary. I then showed them a picture of one of my friends and told them that she was a missionary and that she is working at a camp in TN this summer, and told them a little more about her. We then prayed for her and my kids all wanted to say a prayer. After that we made cards to send to her and encourage her this week! Thanks God for placing in my heart a spirit of serving where I am in life rather than wanting to be somewhere else! I'm excited to encourage different friends each week by sending them letters or cards while they are serving this summer and in the process helping my kids at work to be mini- missionaries! Praise God for His faithfullness! =)

Wal-Mart Revelations

Monday began just like any other day. I got up, went to work hung out with the kids, and then left work. I decided that I wanted to go to Wal-Mart after work and pick up a few groceries. Little did I know at this time that God was going to give me an incredible revelation that I had been searching for for monthes. As I went in Wal-Mart I grabbed what I needed and headed to the speedy check-out lane. Thinking that I was doing the kind thing and what God told me to do I allowed a lady in front of me who only seemed as though she had a Sierra Mist. Come to find out she also had to buy a gift card. After about 30 minutes of standing in line, a gentlemen came and told the rest of us in line to come to customer services. As we got to that line there were about 20 people already in that line and all of the other open lanes were filled with people as well. Finally I got to the back of another lane and about that time the lane I was originally in began to once again move.

So long story short, God taught me a huge lesson in "the big P".. in case you didn't know, that stands for patience. God, in those moments taught me a lesson in being still and waiting for Him to direct my steps. I learned in those moments that it's okay to not busily move around becaue in those times I miss out on the details that God wants me to see. God taught me that it's okay to not know all of the details of my life right now, but to stay in the moment and look for opportunites where I am.

I finally have peace about the summer. I'm finally able to say that I'm okay with being at home. No, it's not easy to read facebook and see how so many of my friends are missionaries in other countries or working at camps. If I would have chosen to embark on the journey of going to Camp Merri-Mac I would have left on Monday and arrived there at noon to begin training. So needless to say Monday was not an easy day for me but in the middle of my Wal-Mart Revelation, God made it clear to me that right now is my time to wait and that in His timing He will show me where and how to move.

So in case you wanted to know...

TODAY was awful.. okay, maybe i'm over exaggerating a bit.. Today, I woke up and was planning on having Chik-Fila for lunch before I started working on my English work. As I drove up to Chik-Fila, the line was backed up ALLL the way around the building, and the line was crazy inside so I changed plans and just went to SHEETZ. okay, so that wasn't too bad. I then headed over to Barnes and Noble and began doing things just to cross them off of my to-do-list that felt as though it was over a mile long. After studying for about 2 hours for my English Final Exam, I opened the test on my computer and for some reason although my internet had been perfect all day, as soon as I opened my test, the internet stopped working therefore causing me not to be able to take my test. Let's say a little prayer that my professor is in a generous mood or either I'm screwed to the max. I then, angrily leave Barnes and Noble and at this time it is already 5:30 and I am supposed to be at a party at 6 which in case you were wondering.. I didn't make it to it. I then get my Chik-Fila for myself and my family and head home to begin my English paper. I finish that, turn it in, pray for atleast a C, and then continue on to take my Art test, where my internet freezes and continues to close my browser before I even answer the first question. Then, not 5 minutes later, family members come into the house yelling at one another, in a non friendly tone. All of this to say, God taught me something incredible today. By the way, sorry for the venting.

During my incredibly stressful and busy day today, God taught me a lesson that I will never forget. He taught me to not live a life filled with checklists. I think for me, a lot of times it is so easy for me to get caught up in making to-do-lists, making Wal-Mart lists, making out calendars where I fill every possible nook and cranny of my time with something because I'm scared of free time. God taught me today, that it is time for me to stop living like a check-list Christian. God wants us to live a life where we are free to change to conform to the will of God. God created us not for us to fill our lives with stuff, but to fill our lives with love, and with peace, and with hope. I think it is so easy to have the mind set of completing a task and moving right on to the next thing. Let us stope for a moment and reflect on the GREATNESS of our God! =)

SO, I'm pretty sure I have the coolest friends ever! =)

So as I woke up this morning, the first thing that came to my mind was how much of a servant's heart each of my friends has. This summer alone, I have three friends working at Appalachian Outreach, I have 5 friends working at Passport, I have 2 friends- probaly more working at Fuge, I have 2 friends working as youth interns at FBC Jeff City, I have atleast 3 friends who are serving in some area of Africa, I have 3 friends serving in Bolivia, I have 3 friends serving at Camp Wesley Woods in TN, I have a friend at Camp Crest Ridge, I have a friend working at a camp in Missouri, I have a friend working at a camp in New Mexico, I have friends working at various churches, I have friends taking summer classes to prepare for the future, and I have friends who are at home spending much needed times with family and friends as they give so much of themselves to The Lord during the school year. So yes, I have AMAZING friends! I'm so thankful that God has placed each of these people in my life when He did because I don't know what I would do without a single one of them! Thanks for serving The Lord friends! =)