God, do you even listen anymore?

Over the course of the past 4 months, I have gone on a strike from talking to God. Don't get me wrong though, I'm pretty good at fake baking it. I go to church, I help with a youth group, and if asked to pray in a group I don't decline. Why is that? I know that I'm not the only one that does that. I know I'm not the only one in the whole world who feel disconnected. I know that I'm not the only one who doesn't venture into the beautiful scriptures for fear of what God may be trying to teach me.

To be honest, I have only read my Bible twice this whole semester of college. Why is that? Well if you really want to know, it's because I'm mad at God. I think that is okay though for a period of time. I think it's okay to look into the Heavens and cry out to God declaring your anger. That however is the only interaction I have had with God this semester. I don't have a problem crying out to Him with anger and fear and the inability to understand.

I will say however that I am ready for a change. I'm ready to have my best friend back. I'm ready to have my Rock and my Fortress back on my side to protect me from the tide of life. I'm ready to be able to see God's face in the laughter of a child, the breeze in the air, or even in tears of the broken. I'm ready to wake up in the morning with a quench that can only be filled by the grace and power and love of God Almighty. I'm ready to have theological conversations again with my friends. I'm ready to feel worth again of God's love. I'm ready for God to embrace me in His loving arms and hold me there when I feel broken or scared. I'm ready for God to send people to me again when I need to be touched or held. At the same time though, I'm ready to have the drive to serve again!

I feel God the most when I'm working along side the broken and the hurting. I feel God when a friend cries on my shoulder. I feel God when deaths occur. I feel God in the hospital rooms. I feel God while I'm sitting beside victims of rape or abuse of any kind. I feel God when I hear peoples testimonies of despair that turn into beautiful redemption. I feel God when broken relationships occur.

This semester, I have missed so many opportunities because I have let the broken people walk away from me because I have been too broken to love them. I have let people who needed me spend time by themselves when in reality that was the last thing that they've needed. I've let my professors down by not getting work done on time and work that was not 100%. I have let friends and family down because I have not been an effective lover. Lastly, I have let my self down because of my selfishness and my inability to look past circumstances to find peace.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. If you know me well, you will soon know that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I love it because I love my family. As crazy as my family is, I love each and every person more than anyone could ever imagine. We all have our quirks and weirdness but we all come together and love one another and support one another. Yesterday I realized how much I have missed this semester and finally after a lengthy time in the desert barely breathing and surviving each day, I FINALLY thirsted for the first time! I thirsted for Christ. I thirsted for scripture! I thirsted for love that I have pushed away! I thirsted for health! I thirsted for my faith to be relit because for a while I felt as though the fire had burnt out and I didn't know if it could be relit! If you ask me this year what I am thankful for, I could go on for hours, but I'll just name a few...

1. A God who continues to love me even when I give the cold shoulder for over 3 months.
2. A family who comes together to love even through the hard times!
3. Grandparents and great grandparents who selflessly give of themselves to make sure that I have the opportunity to become the best that I possibly can be!
4. Friends who are there to laugh with, joke with, be angry with, and to cry with.
5. Peace in times of struggle-- even if for only small moments in the day!

God Bless!

-Jaime =)

Blast off to.. weird?!? -- or I guess awesome!

Soo, I haven't written on here in forever! I wanted to take the time in this post to tell you all about my wonderful roommate, Katie Broyles! She has inspired me to start blogging again because of her really nifty blog. If you want to see it, Click here!! =) I moved in with her during September after some crazy situations and everything just worked out so perfectly for me to move in with her. Her roommate didn't come back, and I was not happy in my room so it all just worked out really well and was a true blessing from God. It was so perfect that all of our stuff for our rooms even matched. Soo here is the top ten things about my roommate and why she's amazing!

10. She is very creative and crafty (you'll see this even more if you look at her blog) =)
9. She's from the great state of VA only about an hour from me! haha
8. She loves watching movies like me
7. She tells me what I say in my sleep when we wake up in the mornings.
6. She's super smart and is going to make an amazing Physicians Assistant.. according to her, "I want to save them lives" =)
5. She's a hopeless romantic-- I think this is cute because I'm exactly the opposite-- maybe one day she'll rub off on me a little bit
4. She has pretty amazing friends-- Lindsay and Abbey- they make me laugh all the time!
3. She helps me to pick out my clothes because I don't have much of a sense for fashion--(but on the downside she tries to not let me wear socks and chacos)
2. We both love to watch Glee
1. She laughs at me all the time no matter what it is that I do! Especially when I come home and tell stories about how crazy my semester has been and all of the drama! =)

Basically we think the same things a lot of the time.. it's so funny how much alike we are.. we also have some of the most random conversations that really would not make sense to a lot of people.. For example we just had a conversation about how I was a princess with keebler elves as my entourage and how I kept my princess crown in my car--- see, it doesn't make sense.. does it?

Well I hope you all have an amazing day! While youre at it, scroll back to the top and click on Katie's blog! You will love it, I promise, or you get your money back..