Baby Champ is here! =)

So this morning, at 2:00am my baby cousin, Champion Elijah Brooks was born! I'm so excited.. he has to be the most precious baby I have ever seen. It was such a beautiful thing to walk into the hospital room at about 2:30am and see this 3o minute old baby lying on the little cart with his tiny hands and feet stretching all out after being confined in my cousins womb for 9 months. This time really made me think about the awesomeness of God and how He took the time to create each one of us differently, and He chose the exact moment and day we would be born, and the family we would be born into. I'm just in awe of the power of Christ! =)

Freedom through Christ

So, I'm about to get really honest in this post..

Up until today, I didn't have a clue what my purpose for this summer was, and I'm still not sure that I know what God's purpose is completely but I think I finally have a clue and an idea. I'm called to Love God and Love people. You may think, isn't this what we're all supposed to do all day everyday? Why yes, it is, and that is what I'm going to do. I'm going to take the gospels as seriously as I can and I'm going to serve God wherever He places me and not complain about where I am or what I'm doing because I know that whatever happens this summer in some way or another is going to shape me into the person I am becoming. I'm not going to lie, I'm a little scared because I honestly don't know how God is going to have me step out of my comfort zone, but I have a feeling it's going to be in an incredible way, and it's possibly going to be painful but I'm excited! I start work week after next at the daycare I worked at my senior year of high school and then I am also getting the opportunity to lead a girls bible study with my best friend, Caroline Hall, and I am getting the opportunity to participate in another bible study with my college friends! God is great! This week I have gotten the opportunity to take some time for myself where I have been able to just lay on the beach for hours at a time and it has been such an incredible time as I rarely ever take any time for myself because when I do I feel selfish. I have really learned over the past couple of weeks that God is really shaping my summer and it' exciting to be able to hear His voice and listen to His commands. For example, I was supposed to go on a mission trip to KY in July and God has closed so many doors to that which I thought I would have been devesated about but instead I have such an incredible amount of peace about this that only could have come from Christ and Christ alone. I'm not saying that I'm excited about not being able to go to KY, but I know that atleast until I get more information, this is not what God wants for this summer which has been a hard thing for me to accept because I have such a heart and a passion for the people of Eastern KY. I learned from a great mentor over this past year in school a quote that really stuck with me. He said, "Not now doesn't mean never." Just because God doesn't want me in KY this summer doesn't mean I will never have this opportunity again. Another thing that has been hard for me is this idea that I have cleaned out my room. Although that was such a liberating feeling, it is something that I still haven't been able to fully accept. It's hard to let go of 19 year of junk. I don't think you would understand though unless you had that much junk yourself. Even though it is liberating it is still a sense of bondage as well. My prayer for this week is that God will let me get over this loss of junk and that He will continue to fill my heart with peace. I don't want to be a person who is held back by material possessions. I don't want things to hold me back from being the woman God has created me to be but I don't know how to change this. Getting rid of that stuff was what was needed for this summer even though it was painful. God didn't want me to sell the stuff but rather to just get rid of it. I'm excited to see what God is going to do with my obedience and my love and desire to serve Him! =)

Sweetly Broken

So today, I reached the point where I can honestly say that I've been sweetly broken. I realized today that at the end of the summer, I will have a grand total of $360.00 to my name after I pay my phone bill for the next three months, and pay for 3 summer classes, and for some reason I have an incredible amount of peace about it all. I'm giving my future to God because I know that He has a plan for my summer and for the upcoming year. I know that God is a provider and that if He will dress the flowers in beauty in the fields, then why should I worry and freak out. God knows what I need! He does! I'm so nervous about this summer because I honestly don't have a clue why anything is happening, but I have confidence that everything is going to be okay.

This past week has been incredibly difficult for me and today I finally just had a breakdown and I really don't know why. During the past month or so, God has given me the word 'simplicity' on several occasions and I really didn't understand it. This summer, God is calling me to begin living a life of simplicity and in all honesty, it is incredibly difficult and painful to begin living a life of simplicity when I'm used to living a life where I have not only my needs met, but most all of my wants as well.

Last week before I even came home from school, God really challenged me to come home and clean out my room. Let me just draw you a little mental image, literally my room was so filled with junk that I didn't even know where to begin on my own. My room had gotten to a point where I could literally open the door and get to my bed and that's about it. 19 years worth of birthday cards and notes from friends. Journals from middle school and highschool. stuffed animals, some toys, random odds and ends, and JUNK. I have an amazing friend who I asked if she would come and help me clean because I knew that she wouldn't judge me in the process. So that is what Monday and Tuesday consisted of for me. I cleaned and decluttered my room. 5 trashbags to the dump, and 2 boxes 3 totes and a trash bag to the goodwill later, I can finally say my room is clean. Praise the Lord. That was such a painful process. It took so much time to clean my room and so many memories were brought to the front of my mind. Most good, but some a little painful, but all in all it was an incredibly healing process.

SIMPLICITY: the lifestyle God is calling me to this summer. I'm excited to see His plan for my summer and for the rest of my life. I'm all His! =)

The Start of Something New! =)

Why do I get so scared to make decisions? I think lately I've truly grasped the idea that one of my professors spoke so frequently this semester. He said on many occasions, "Self care is not selfish" another thing that he said to me on a number of days was, "you can only make the best decisions at the time with the best information given" I did not at the time realize nor understand why those two quotes stuck out to me, but I'm so thankful that I heard those words now. There have been many times in the past three months or so where I had to let people down and although they weren't huge deals, this was the first time in my whole life where I had to make decisions that I knew would benefit me and where I knew I would let other people down in the process which is incredibly difficult for me because I am very much a people pleaser. By not working at camp this summer I had to let a whole camp down and at that same time I had to give up the opportunity to ever work at that camp again because of my decision to spend time with my family this summer and work and take classes. A few weeks after that, I had to make a decision to come home a couple of days early this summer and not work at Game Time in TN in which I had attended training for to be a counselor. I then even when I got home had to make a decision to let my music minister down in order to go to the beach with my family. In making these decisions, God is teaching me so much especially the idea that I am worth more than I think I am worth and in life I deserve to be happy as well.

This summer for me is a time where I am having to do some really difficult things. I am spending my summer in school, I am working a 40 hour a week job, and I am spending more time with my family loving on them for who they are. This summer for me is also for me a time where God has called me to simplify. God has been calling me to a life of simplicity for over a year now, and I am finally at a place where I am able to simplify without it being painful. I am able to get rid of some things that bring back painful memories. I am at a point where I am able to throw away journals from middle school and highschool as well as yard sale trinkets and junk from people who I am no longer friends with. This summer is about literally and figuratively cleaning out my closet and letting go of baggage that has been holding me back for so many years.

I think for me, it has been incredibly important to have on of my best friends in the entire world, Katie Tyree who helped me clean out my room today and is going to come back to my house tomorrow and finish helping me. Today, in a matter of 6 hours, we took out 5 trashbags full of trash and junk to the dump and filled up two boxes, and a trashbag for the goodwill or yard sale. I can already feel so much freedom and liberation through this. I can already feel weight lifted off of my shoulders and it is such an incredible feeling. I can't wait to see how God is going to use this simplification period of my life for His glory.