As I think back through the past 20 years, I realized that I have sat through over 1200 sermons, many of which impacted my life and faith in incredible ways and others that I could have easily slept through. I have heard countless pastors from different denominations each with their own style and voice. I have heard men and women, african-american and caucasian, Baptist and Catholic, young and old, and Conservative and liberal pastors. I have been to large churches as well as small churches. I have countless quotes from several intriguing pastors in a journal as well as many on bulletin inserts.
About a month ago I had the oppotunity to be part of someone elses experiences of different pastors that they heard. I was on the other side of the game. I was the one who allowed the Holy Spirit to convict hearts, transform lives, or to plant a seed of encouragement in a struggling heart. Words from my sermon were probably written in journals or on the offering envelopes that are placed on the back of the pews. Preaching my first sermon was the most humbling experience of my life.
February 5th 2012 was a day that will forever be etched into my heart. The day finally came where for the first time in my life I knew exactly what God wanted me to do with the rest of my life. I finally felt such a sense of peace about calling. God allowed so many people who are dear to my heart give me encouragement as well as affirmation that I am currently walking down the exact path that I am supposed to be! February 5th was a day that will sadly not happen in many Baptist churches for the simple fact that many people would never ask a female to preach in their congregation muchless call them as a senior or even associate pastor.
I was able to preach as part of Martha Stearns Marshall Month of preaching which has been a month where churches ask females to preach during the month of February. This month began in 2007. I hope that one day in my lifetime I will see the time when this month is no longer necessary
because we will move to a place in our churches where a Pastor is not chosen based on gender. I think that this month of preaching is a good way to show the children and teenagers in our churches that they can do whatever they want to in life whether they are a boy or a girl.
It was crazy to realize how much the pastor actually notices as they preach. I could see the people who whispered to their neighbors. I could see when someone reached into their purse to grab a mint. I could see the person nodding off to sleep about midway back in the middle section. I could see the mom trying to contain their restless toddler. And all of that was beautiful. It was beautiful to see our church packed with a little over 300 people. It was beautiful to see people coming together from all walks of life for the same purpose, to worship the creator of the universe and the healer of our brokenness, and the lover of our souls. It was beautiful to see people come forth and pray at the alter; young and old alike came to the alter to offer a gift to God.
As I stood behind the pulpit, I looked into the audience and into the eyes of so many people who have been influential in my spiritual walk. I saw Sunday School teachers, family, friends, and fellow ministers who I have looked up to and respected over the years. I saw people who without their dedication to loving and encouraging me, I wouldn't be where I am today. I saw people who had to show me tough love in order for me to grow-up and leave behind childish ways. I saw friends, no brothers and sisters, from Carson-Newman who have loved me so much over this past year. As I looked into the audience I was reminded of the many memories from my growing up days in Randolph Memorial Baptist Church.
As I glanced to the 4th row on the left hand side of our Sanctuary, I was reminded of the many Sundays of sitting in church with my grandma who had to consistently quiet my brother, my cousins, and myself as we would talk to one another during the worship services. As I led the children's sermon, it brought back memories of my grandmother constantly reminding me to 'sit like a lady' which was the last thing on my mind as I was too busy trying to say the correct answers to my pastors questions. As I glanced to the back of the Sancutary, I chuckled to myself as I remembered the many games of hide and seek and sardines that were played in that sanctuary over the years. I remember coming to revival when Grant Carter was pastor as a child and always listening closely to the sermons even as a small child. I remembered the day that my friends and I decided to get baptized and how we went forward all on the same day to make our decision public and then a few months later entered the waters as our pastor at the time, Mark Beck, baptized us. So many laughs, smiles, and tears were shared in that sanctuary and I am thankful that another memory was made as I was asked to preach my first sermon from the pulpit in which I heard my first sermon 20 years ago.
To everyone who saw leadership and pastoral characteristics in me before I did, thank you for sharing that with me. For those who have been there with me and fumbled through this idea of calling with me, thank you. To Susie Poindexter and Derik Hamby who helped me through the freak out stage of College decisions, thank you. To those of you who kept me in the nursery as a child to those who I am able to share life with now, thank you. For those who have laughed with me, and held me as I cried, thank you!
The road to becoming a pastor is going to be a long one, and I am excited that I have so many people who have been willing to take a chance on me and to look past flaws to see the ministry capabilities in me. Please continue to pray for me and with me as I make deicisions in the next couple of years as far as what grad school to attend and what ministry opportunites to take part in. Continue to pray that churches will open up their doors to me so that I can have the ability to use the gifts that God has given me and to gain more experience.
Thank you Derik for taking a chance on me! Also, in case any of you are interested, I will be preaching on March 11, 2012 at Grace Hills Baptist Church in Appomattox, VA. If you're in the area, I would love for you to come and worship with us, but if you are not in the area, your prayers will be greatly appreciated! Thanks so much to each of my readers for your constant love and encouragement.
Blessings,
Jaime
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