So the past two weeks have been an incredible roller coaster that I don't even know how to explain and The Lord has really working in my life. 4th of July weekend I went down to TN and my best friend from here came with me, Caroline. Friday night we met up with a group of my friends for Katelynn Davenport's birthday and it was so much fun to be reunited with my beautiful sisters in Christ. Until I was in their presence this past weekend, I didn't realize how much I had missed their presence in my every day life. Here at home, I have 3 people that I would call my friends this summer and out of those 3 here I have become closer to my sisters at school then my friends here. I can be honest with them and I know that they won't judge me for what I tell them about my life and what I am struggling with. If I need to talk to them I know that they would let me come to their room during the school year or call them when we aren't at school if I needed to talk or cry or both. But on the other hand my sisters at school are there for each other during the joyous times as well. We are there for each other on birthdays or when we make good grades on tests or when we just want to praise The Lord for His faithfullness in our lives. It's incredible how much God has blessed me with these beautiful sisters at Carson-Newman. Saturday Caroline and I hung out with some more of my sisters as well. Sunday though was such an eye opening day for me. I made Caroline go to two churches with me haha. First we went to First Baptist and then we drove to Knoxville to go to NorthStar. Pastor Scott like always brought the word and it was so great to be back at NorthStar. His sermon or atleast a point of his sermon that he spoke was about how a lot of times as Christians we get caught up in 'religion' and don't focus on our actual relationship with Christ. We do all of the 'good' things like being involved in bible studies, leading bible studies, going to Sunday School and worship, singing in choir, keeping the nursery, or whatever it is that we do each week. Pastor Scott really stepped on my toes and made me realize the importance of my relationship with Christ to become more intentional. Also, I feel as though my calling from The Lord is becoming a little more defined. I feel as though God is calling me to be a Pastor or atleast to add a pastoral emphasis to my religion major. I think this is a big step for me as in all honesty I don't have a clue what becoming a pastor would mean for my life. So if you're reading this, please be in prayer for me as I get some wise counsel in the next few weeks from some of the people in my life I look to for advice while making big decisions. I'm excited but in all reality I have no clue where The Lord is going to lead me in the future but I'm excited about this journey.
On another note, I have a crazy confession to make and I think this is God's way of showing me that I am no longer in bondage but I am free because of His grace. Ever since I was a little kid probaly late elementary school I have been terrified of dogs, like to the point of if a dog came anywhere near me I would literally go out of my way to avoid the dog and it was almost a paralyzing fear. This fear bubbled over into my home where if my dog, my very own dog was out of his lot when I got home, I could not make myself get out of my car but I would literally call my dad and get him to come hold the dog so I could walk into my house. So I went to Carson-Newman in the fall with this fear and it continued through the year and then I came home for summer after having to deal with some pretty difficult baggage through the latter part of the first semester through about the end of April and beginning of May which wouldn't have been possible without the help of some amazing friends who just listened to my crys and sometimes even just held me in their arms because I was upset or allowed me to sleep in their room because I was scared and that fear was completely gone. It was like I had never been scared of a dog a day in my life. I think that my fear of dogs came from a sense of bondage and that that fear came from something deeper. It's really cool to see how The Lord works and how He can heal our hearts even after they have been broken into a million pieces and you feel like you can't keep going.
So I know that was random and you probaly didnt understand atleast half of what I just wrote in that last paragraph but as our friendships grow, I am confident that my heart will begin to be opened to each of you and with time I will be able to share parts of my life story with you because it isn't my story, it's God's story!
Until next time, I hope you all have an amazing week!
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