So today is the last full day of 2009. 2009 for me has definitely been a year that was full of rollar coaster rides, some good, and some not so good at all. I guess that 2009 was sort of a year for finding out who I really am, and accepting the person that God had created me to be, and for a while, I ran from that, because I was scared to be different from my friends, but I think that since I wasn't trying to change myself, God changed my friends so that I would somehow not be like them very much anymore. 95% of my friends are dating someone, and I guess at some points that is hard, because it makes me think back to the times in our lives when we were little kids on the playground, or on the swingsets at church, and we PROMISED that a guy would NEVER come between our friendship, so I guess that's been the hardest thing to accept, and I know it's probally better that it happens now, than for it to wait until we got to college and have everything just totally change at once, but it's still hard now, but I'm learning to accept that.
Also, 2009 has been a time for me to do what I wanted to do, not always what my friends want. 2009 is the first time that I think i ever let my voice be heard in decisions, because so much of the time i hold back what I really want to do because I didn't want to hurt anyones feelings, but I slowly am beginning to learn that my opinons matter too, and that's not been the easiest thing to accept, because saying NO is the hardest thing for me to do, but this year, i've actually had to say no to some people, and at times that hurt, ALOT. But I think through that, it's helped me to become more independent, and helped me to realize that I am God's creation, and that He made me who I am for a reason
Though 2009 has been a tough year, I know that I was put in the situations I was for a reason, and some friends, were turned into accuaintances for a reason, and then also some new friends were brought into my life for a reason, and though I can't see all of the reasons right now, I'm sure they will be revealed to me, at the perfect time God wants them to be revealed!
So heres to 2010.. A big year of change, a change of school, a change of living arrangements, a change of friendships I'm sure, and a change of independence. Though each of those sound positive, honestly I'm terrified. But I'm sure it will all work out! Change is only negative when you see the glass half empty! My goal is to see every situation as half full and to trust God completely for his amazing plans for my life! Thanks to everyone who has had a hand in helping me to become the person that God has called me to be, and to have faith in me when I didn't have faith in myself. Thanks for those who were with me at my lowest points and still openly welcomed me back into your life when I hurt you the most. I could not have made it through this year without the continuous love and support of my familly, my friends, and most importantly my church family!
I hope and pray that each one of you have a blessed New Year, and that you see this year as a brand new start for so many things in life! I love you all!
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