As I look back over my past year, I can't help but to look at the incredible power of the Holy Spirit in my life. During my first semester of school at Carson-Newman, I met an incredible woman of God, Julie Pennington Russell who came to speak to us during a chapel service about hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit where I had happened to be asked a few days prior by my professor if I would consider being a volunteer to help her out during the service. I quickly responded to the email, not realizing that this woman was so well known all over the United States and that her speaking would be just what my heart needed.
Flash backward about 6 monthes where my Pastor at my home church and I had been talking about ministry and somehow we began talking about me becoming a pastor. At that point in time, The Lord had not opened my eyes to that calling so when we began talking about it, I thought it would be something that would just go away, not something that would continuously nudge me for the remainder of the school year and into these past few weeks where I would finally begin to accept this calling for what it is. I can honestly say that a year ago today I was not in a place where I could fully surrender to the Lord because I had a lot of baggage that I had to get rid of first.
Okay, flash forward to the spring semester where Dr. Julie Pennington Russell came back to Carson-Newman to deliver a series of sermons known as the Ashe-Henderson Lectures. Her preaching melted my heart once more leaving me hungry for more from The Lord. At that point I began to realize and sort of accept the gifts that The Lord had given me.
Flash Forward once more to Sunday before last where the guest pastor, Rev. Mark Beck delivered the sermon with a message of answering a call and having your ears, eyes, and heart open for that transformation. Well, that may not have been what the sermon was about, but that is surely what I got out of the sermon. As I sat on the 2nd row of the sanctuary, the though of becoming a pastor was so clear and so vivid. throughout the whole service The Lord revealed so much to me. He spoke so much truth into my life and it was incredible!
Flash forward one more week to this past Friday, and as I'm sitting in class, my professor who is also my pastor, Dr. Derik Hamby, begins to talk about ministry and conflicts in the church. We then get on the topic of women pastors and Dr. Julie Pennington Russells name is mentioned, and how at times she was persecuted simply for being a woman in ministry. She had protestors on her first Sunday of being a pastor in Texas who called her a Jezebel and Harlet in front of her young daughter who then turned to her mommy and asked, "Mommy, what is a Jezebel?" My heart once again was just burning with a passion to serve The Lord. Burning with a passion to spread the gospel even when it is difficult.
So to sum all of that up and how all of those pieces fit together would be impossible It's one thing to understand what I'm trying to get across, but it's something completely different I feel to understand the thought process inside of my mind. I want more than anything to serve The Lord and to be used by Him. I want more than anything to glorify God in every one of my actions even when it's hard and people aren't supportive.
At this point of my life, I truly feel as though The Lord is calling me to become a pastor. If that isn't the case though, my prayer is that The Lord will open up new doors and new avenues in order that I may follow His will for my life.
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