Freedom through Christ

So, I'm about to get really honest in this post..

Up until today, I didn't have a clue what my purpose for this summer was, and I'm still not sure that I know what God's purpose is completely but I think I finally have a clue and an idea. I'm called to Love God and Love people. You may think, isn't this what we're all supposed to do all day everyday? Why yes, it is, and that is what I'm going to do. I'm going to take the gospels as seriously as I can and I'm going to serve God wherever He places me and not complain about where I am or what I'm doing because I know that whatever happens this summer in some way or another is going to shape me into the person I am becoming. I'm not going to lie, I'm a little scared because I honestly don't know how God is going to have me step out of my comfort zone, but I have a feeling it's going to be in an incredible way, and it's possibly going to be painful but I'm excited! I start work week after next at the daycare I worked at my senior year of high school and then I am also getting the opportunity to lead a girls bible study with my best friend, Caroline Hall, and I am getting the opportunity to participate in another bible study with my college friends! God is great! This week I have gotten the opportunity to take some time for myself where I have been able to just lay on the beach for hours at a time and it has been such an incredible time as I rarely ever take any time for myself because when I do I feel selfish. I have really learned over the past couple of weeks that God is really shaping my summer and it' exciting to be able to hear His voice and listen to His commands. For example, I was supposed to go on a mission trip to KY in July and God has closed so many doors to that which I thought I would have been devesated about but instead I have such an incredible amount of peace about this that only could have come from Christ and Christ alone. I'm not saying that I'm excited about not being able to go to KY, but I know that atleast until I get more information, this is not what God wants for this summer which has been a hard thing for me to accept because I have such a heart and a passion for the people of Eastern KY. I learned from a great mentor over this past year in school a quote that really stuck with me. He said, "Not now doesn't mean never." Just because God doesn't want me in KY this summer doesn't mean I will never have this opportunity again. Another thing that has been hard for me is this idea that I have cleaned out my room. Although that was such a liberating feeling, it is something that I still haven't been able to fully accept. It's hard to let go of 19 year of junk. I don't think you would understand though unless you had that much junk yourself. Even though it is liberating it is still a sense of bondage as well. My prayer for this week is that God will let me get over this loss of junk and that He will continue to fill my heart with peace. I don't want to be a person who is held back by material possessions. I don't want things to hold me back from being the woman God has created me to be but I don't know how to change this. Getting rid of that stuff was what was needed for this summer even though it was painful. God didn't want me to sell the stuff but rather to just get rid of it. I'm excited to see what God is going to do with my obedience and my love and desire to serve Him! =)