So, as many of you know, my name is Jaime. I'm just going to tell you a little about myself incase you don't know me, or don't know me well. I was born and raised in Virginia, and I have always attended the same church. As a young child, my grandparents would come pick me up on Sunday mornings, and then I would spend the day with them after church. I accepted Christ in my grandparents living room when I was in second grade, but didn't get baptized until I was in the 8th grade.
When I was in 9th grade I went to a church campe called Centrifuge that I didn't want to go to because of a prior commitment to softball. I was bound and determined that I was not going to the camp, but my youth minister was more persistent than I myself was. Each week from like 6 monthes from when the trip actually was, she would tell me that I needed to go on this trip. Honestly it kind of got annoying after a while, but I sure am glad she didn't give up on me.
About two weeks before we were scheduled to leave a girl dropped off the list to go to camp, so there was an extra spot that needed to be filled. At this point, I felt God speak to me the loudest I had ever heard Him in my whole life. It is one of those times where you know if you don't listen, then it's not going to be good. So reluctantly I went up to my youth minister and told her that I was going to go to camp. I remember it like it was yesterday, tears were in her eyes, and she looked me straight in the eyes, and told me that she knew I was going to go to camp, and that she had been praying for me everyday.
That experience really helped my walk with Christ to start becoming serious. We were challenged during the week to take our walk with Christ to the next level, and to stay involved in the Word, and to pray everyday, and to just remain close to God. I left camp that week with such a new perspective on life, one that helped to begin the formation of who I am today. I left with a "mountaintop" experience, just to go home, and a few weeks later be right back where I was, just normal, back into the routine of things, back into the norm, doing what I wanted, reading the bible every now and again. and just being a Christian living a worldly life.
Then, the next summer came, FUGE again, the adrenaline rushing, double the people from the year before, we head down the road to have yet another mountaintop experience. But this year was a bit different. Before this week at FUGE, I had had some disagreements with some people in our group, and the trip down to FUGE for me was filled with awkwardness, my heart wasn't in it, gossip was in it, and God knew that He would break this barrier down this week. I went into the week, looking for something more in life, so I took the missions track. This was my first real experience with missions. I had the sweetest person as our leader, and I could just tell the love she had for us, and for Christ, and for the hurting people in the world. About a month before we left for FUGE, I felt God burdening my heart to become a youth minister. honestly at this point in my life, I really wanted to look at God, and say, "Dude, look at my life, and the mess I have become, why in the world would you want me of all people in this whole world to be a youth minister, I know you can find someone better than me" but this feeling, this passion, this calling would not leave no matter what I did, or said, and I didn't tell anyone about this because honestly I was scared to death of what this meant. I remember it like it was yesterday, the song "Be My Everything" was playing in the background, and the camp pastor asked if anyone felt God calling them to full time Christian ministry, and those who wanted to recommit their lives to Christ to come forward, and at that time, I was terrified, but I walked forward, and I stood there overwhelmed by God's love, and God's grace, and I stood there bawling and crying, knowing that I was doing what God wanted, yet being terrified, knowing that my parents don't go to church, and that I would have to tell them what God is calling me to do, when they don't understand, knowing that jsut seconds after I moved forward, that someone who I wasn't getting along with, but I so badly wanted to appologize to for hurting would come forward with me, and that I would have to talk to this person that I hadn't talked to since March, I was SCARED beyond what anyone could understand. It was like the best and worst feelings in the world mixed together into one. I went and talked, and remember I hadn't told anyone about my decision to go into full time ministry, and my youth minister looks me in the face, and tells me that she knows that I will make a fantastic youth minister. If that's not a God thing, I don't know what is.
When I left FUGE that year, I left with so much more than I brought to that week. It was so hard at times to remain faitful to read the bible, and to do what was right, but I strived to do so at all times! This was also the year I found out about Carson-Newman College, and for some reason knew right then that I was going there. It's a feeling that you can't explain unless you feel it for yourself. About October, I was asked to go on a mission trip with the LBA to Port Sulphur Louisiana, where i would be doing construction, and helping to rebuild peoples homes that were destroyed during Hurricane Katrina, I knew I needed to go, I asked my parents, and everything just fell into place, and it was perfect, the best week I could have ever asked for, I even got to spend my 17th birthday there which was so fantastic yet difficult at the same time being away from my family. This was a growing experience for me, and I know that God wanted me to go there! The week in Louisiana broke my heart for the brokenhearted, and I saw true poverty and hope admidst despair for the first time in my whole life.
When I got home from Louisiana, I was determined to live my life differently and definitely at times it has been excrutiatingly hard. When friends wanted me to do stuff, sometimes I gave in when I knew i shouldn't but sometimes I also had to be the bigger person and say no which was very difficult. It's also difficult when you have family who doesn't go to church, because at times after long nights of staying up late, it's so easy to just want to stay in bed and sleep in, especially when no one else in my house is awake. Then there are also the times in my life where I just got into the habit of going to church, and I didn't 'feel' anything from the service. But I soon realized that you have to give in order to recieve. In order to get something out of the service, you have to pour your soul out. You have to give of yourself so that God can use you for His glory, and fill you up with His love and mercy and grace! And it's not easy, it's actually very difficult! After I went to Louisiana though I wanted to be different, and that calling on my life to serve became stronger, and I looked more for opportunities to get involved! It's so awesome when you ask God for opportunities, and you know automatically that He has something in store for you!
Once again, we went to FUGE, this time it was more of a bonding time for our youth group, before we left, we had a lot of problems, and a lot of I guess jealousy issues mixed with clicks, and so honestly I wasn't looking forward to going to FUGE, and honestly when my friends chose the missions track, I didn't want to because I wanted to be by myself, but I knew that what God wanted was so much more important than anything that I could ever want, so I took the missions track knowing from the moment i walked in that that's what I was supposed to take. During this time, we once again had a FABULOUS missions track leader, named Adam, and he is just someone who God blessed enormously because he has huge faith, and luckily, I was there the week his family was, and it was sooo awesome to get to meet them, and spend time with them because they are just such a beautifully blessed family! God really showed me how to be flexible which I have a hard time with, and I'm glad because that only prepared me for my mission trip to Kentucky. We had such an amazing time just serving God and fellowshipping. Our youth group as a whole just became so incredibly close to one another. I'll never forget Tuesday night, I had really been having one of my friends on my heart who wasn't a Christian, and it's a feeling that I couldn't shake no matter how hard that I tried. So the whole time through the sermon, I just felt the holy spirit tugging at my heart to share Christ with my friend. And little did I know that her boyfriend felt the same way, but was scared of her reaction just like I was. So, at one point during church group devotions, I actually tore a page out of my journal, and wrote on it, "Tiffany, I want you in heaven with me" and that's all it said nothing more. I contemplated giving it to her because I was scared to talk to her. Then my other friend looked over at me, and said, "I was just thinking the same thing" at this point, I knew that I had to talk to her, my adrenaline was rushing. The lesson finally ended people began to leave, and still Tiffany was sitting in the room, and so was myself, Ammie, and Beth. The others went on their way, and here left in the room was the 4 of us. I walked over to Tiffany by myself, and looked at her, and tears streamed down my face, and said "Tiffany, I love you so much, and I can't stand the fact that you won't be in heaven with me" immediately she started crying, and I was already crying at this point, and we sat there for a while in silence, and then David came in, and she prayed the prayer to accept Christ into her heart. It's things like that that make everything worthwhile. I'll also never forget Thursday night, none of us even remember what the sermon was on, but every single one of us came out of the sanctuary bawling and crying, and hugging one another and praying for one another. This ordeal continued for over an hour once we got to our bible study rooms, and it was just so awesome to see how close we all really are when we come together for a common purpose. I will never forget that night for the rest of my life.
About a month after FUGE I left for Kentucky on another mission trip adventure, and I can honestly say that that week was the best week in my life, up until this point. I absolutely fell in love down there. It's just such an amazing place, and honestly I can see myself living there. While I was there, I became extremely close with an amazing friend, Chelsey Putt, and I truly treasure our friendship that we have because of our experiences in Kentucky, and then afterwards as well. But anyways, at times, I got a little frustrated because I wanted "my" plans to work out, and I didn't really know how to be flexible, but then I just gave it completely to God, and things were perfect! We just had the best week in the world, and we met some pretty fantastic people! I helped with bible school, which was great! I loved that week more than anything in the world, there were so many memories made that will forever be engraved in my heart.
So, I came home and a few weeks later, I was informed about another mission trip to the same place in Kentucky that would be in November. I really knew that God wanted me on the mission trip, but I was literally terrified because none of my friends were going so I basically totally had to meet new people, which scared me because as outgoing and loud as I may seem, truly my biggest fear in the world is meeting new people and not knowing people who I am around. It literally terrifies me and makes me feel like I just want to be a tortouise and hide in a shell until the people go away. But anyway I knew it was where I needed to be, so I signed up, and payed my money, and the Wednesday before i left, I was literally at church with my friends, and I broke down crying because I was so scared of the unknown. But then I got over it knowing that there was a reason in me going. This was definitely a growing trip for me. I had to act like an adult for the most part, which at times was hard because I just wanted to be that little kid with no responsibilities. But I absolutely loved the week. I became extremely close to two beautiful self sacrificing women whom I truly admire, and I thank God each day for the friendship that arose out of the week, and that is Carol, and Drucie. Carol, and I had a special bond because she said that I reminded her of her daughter who is a missionary in Brazil, which I thought was pretty neat, so we bonded, and I acted like I was her daughter for a week! We spent a lot of time together and got pretty close which was really neat! Drucie and I had a different kind of bond, you see Drucie and I have a servant bond, and she reminds me of who I want to become because she sees the best in people, and she is never judgemental at all. She kind of reminded me of the Mother Theresa of today. Drucie and I got to spend a lot of time together in God's Closet which is somewhere that really is a major part of my heart, and my soul because i got to see first hand how it helps people, and how without this ministry that babies would go without diapers, and children would go without shoes and coats to endure the cold winter. I saw first hand the thankfullness that a young mother had when she came to get diapers because she only had three diapers left to last her the rest of the month, and could only come up with some odd change that didn't even equal a dollar. and how she cried when we found the diapers that her child needed because he was allergic to Parent's Choice. I saw first hand the amount of new people came to God's Closet for the first time, and how you could see the relief upon their face because they knew that they had a renewed hope because of the ministry of God's Closet. I saw firsthand the struggles of the ladies in which I washed their feet, and as I washed their beautiful feet that God had given them, I couldn't help but wonder where those feet had been in their life time, and how many times they had to endure hard times with no shoes at all when I sit in my house of luxuries with 20 or 30 pair of shoes in my closet. I got to pray with these ladies, and tell them that they are special to God. These are memories that will last a lifetime. I also got to see pictures of Haiti, and meet a Haitian girl, whom I have grown to love. She is fantastic, and I really pray that sometime in my life that God allows me the opportunity to spend some time in Haiti with Drucie, and one of her crews, because the pictures and stories broke my heart. I also got to have some fun playing cards with older ladies from the group I was with, and just hear their stories of their life experiences, and their ways of serving God. Going to work with Carol on Thursday was difficult, and I didn't realize really until I got home that I was a help to her when I went to work with her because I was able to help her get some of her simple work done so that she could get to God's Closet on time to serve the needy because that is her ministry, and so I was a help even though God didn't show me how until much later after much frustration. Also, going to Angel and Orie's house, a family that we helped, I got the opportunity to just spend time with a lady who doesn't have the opportunity to spend time with other ladies because she is stuck on top of a mountain with her husband, her brother in law, and her three boys all under 5 years old. I got to talk to her, and I got to play with the boys and spend time with them, and love them. I got to see them smile, and give them hugs, and help the whole family to know that they are loved so incredibly much! Kentucky is somewhere that will forever be in my heart, and I know for a fact that i will be going there many more times in my life, because I have made life long friendships!
Once I got home from Kentucky, I found out that I was accepted to Carson-Newman College, and Averett University, the first is where I will be attending in the fall to double major in youth ministry and elementary education. Even though I am majoring in these two, I can honestly see myself working as a missionary, which is super exciting to me, yet scary at the same time because I do not know exactly where God is going to lead me, but I am confident in His plans. I'm sure some work in Kentucky will be done through my college years because I will only be 2 hrs. from there which is fantastic! I can't wait to see God's plans revealed to me piece by piece in His perfect timing
Until Later, God Bless..
~Jaime
No comments:
Post a Comment